The Jungle Cruise...Fo Real. Mekong Slow Boat Day 1

In Khmer language "Mae" meaning "Big, Mother, Boss or Large" and "Kong" is a short word of "Kongkea" and it means "Water". In the Lao-Khmer-Thai toponymy, all great rivers are considered "mother rivers" signalled by the prefix "mae", meaning "mother", and "nam" for water. (Wikipedia)

Of course I'm behind on some Thailand posts but I figured, since I'm ON the Mekong right now, I might as well post about it.

I don't know why, but I'm always a little nervous about border crossings.  There's just something about official men in official uniforms giving you that official look as they scrutinize your passport.  Their eyes tell you that you've done fifty illegal things in the previous country.  Gives me the heebie jeebies.

So, I was prodding my wonderful guesthouse owner for advice and logistics of everything that was to happen today.  I loved the guesthouse I stayed at in Chiang Khong.  It's the border town on the Thai side of the Mekong and a popular one-nighter for people crossing into Laos.  My private room with fan was 150 baht ($4.80) and her cooking was to die for.  Not to mention she fed me sticky rice with mango which is like Thai crack.  So, I was going to listen to everything she told me.

She saw my nerves and said that I could just book the slow boat tix through her (like another guest was doing) and I wouldn't have to worry about the ferry, tuk tuk and ticket office.  This man who would take care of all of that was her long-time friend and I could trust him.  The offer sounded pretty attractive and I would have a buddy doing the same thing, so I agreed, against all the advice I read online to just do the routine on your own.



My Chinese friend and I loaded into her pick-up truck and unloaded by Thai immigration departure office.  Our visas were stamped and we loaded into a slender long boat to cross the Mekong into Laos. Just as I'm thinking that none of my nerves were warranted, the ferry's engine cut out.  Our boat started turning with the current and pretty soon we were facing in the opposite direction, floating without power.  The barefoot driver hopped over the engine, plugging in this and that and after a few minutes he got the piercing engine churning again.  I should have taken a picture of it... the thing looked ancient.

Next: Laos arrival.

I needed a passport size picture, two forms filled out, and $35 USD.  Check check check.  The Lao man actually smiled at me (border officials never smile) and returned a very enthusiastic "you're welcome!" after my thank you.  Wow.

So the long-time friend had a tuk tuk driver take us around the town to a shop near the ferry that was apparently his store.  Surprise surprise.  He said that there was no food or drink to be purchased on the boat so we should stock up there.  I knew for a fact that that wasn't true, so then, I knew I couldn't really believe anything else he said.  We waited for about an hour for other westerners to be shuttled to his store, and they bought every sandwich and snack available, almost totally clearing out his wife's available food.  This seemed like a pretty lucrative operation for him, but he wasn't finished yet.  The ferry was scheduled to leave at 11:30am and we were still being entertained by his "advice" at 11:00am.  He said not to worry because buying tickets with him guaranteed a seat on the boat.  He said that there weren't very many guest houses in Pakbeng (the half way point) and that he could hook us up with his special guesthouse deal for 400 Baht - because it would be 500 baht when we got there.  Many of the people in this 12 person group readily signed up for this deal without very much thought.  Nooo thanks.

At 11:15, finally we walked down to the ferry.  I would have gone sooner but he was holding our passports captive, saying he needed to clear them with the police first.  There were no police to be seen when we walked down there.  In fact no one was by the dock except for the boat and everyone who had been waiting on it.  We stashed our things and my guesthouse buddy and I quickly sat down in some of the last available seats.  A couple of the girls from our group had none of these guaranteed seats and had to sit on the floor.  Welcome to Laos!

My seat was reluctantly shared with me by a Laotian man who was reserving it with his backpack.  When I asked if I could sit down, he moved the pack over slightly so that I could have 30% of our double seat.  My one butt cheek was grateful that I got any seat at all.

Two of my buds on the boat

So, the beginning to our day in Laos was a little stressful and although I got the seat, there was a bad taste in my mouth from this long-time friend's lies and deceit.  We pulled away from the dock and set out on our course down the Mekong.  The waters were smooth sailing and despite the boat's overly full capacity at around 90 passengers, we were all pretty comfortable considering our surroundings.  I looked back and noticed that the woman and little girl sitting behind me were the wife and daughter of the man sitting next to me.  The woman stared curiously forward at me with a towel covering her nose.  I've been surprised while in Cambodia and Thailand that not many people wear face masks like in Vietnam.  Vietnamese women would wear the masks while on air conditioned trains, definitely on buses, and usually while on motorbikes.  Heck, I had three of 'em in my backpack!  I took out my favorite green fake Lacoste mask and handed it to her.  At first she looked at it confused and I mimed wrapping it around my ears.  Surely she had seen one before.  She bobbed her head in thanks and fitted the mask to her face.  Suddenly, her husband's backpack came off of the seat and he moved closer to his side of the window seat, dropping any animosity he had toward my intrusion.  Score!

The hours seemed to slip by, and were mostly spent drinking Beer Lao, reading the rest of a really good book, and staring out the open-air sides at the lush mountains, hugging the Mekong on both sides.  Black volcanic rock jutted out of the water every so often, of which the helmsman had to steer the large slow boat around.  I didn't know this, but the Mekong - rich in history and geologic fun facts - is right on a fault line where the Indian and Eurasian plates collided, causing the mountain-building process of the Himalayas and the uplifting of a huge chunk of continental plate, now known as the Tibetan Plateau.  (http://ns1.mrcmekong.org/RAK/html/1.2.6_geological_history.html)

The geologic activity creates deep caverns in some areas of the Mekong.  How many rivers do you know that get over 250 ft deep?  That's where all the five-headed creatures evolve - I'm sure of it.

Filing out of the boat.  Who got her bag first with her own two hands?
This girl.

The air was moving through the boat and cool enough to not feel hot, even as we made a few stops to let locals off in middleofnowhere villages.  We watched them scramble up the volcanic rock with live chickens and bags of who knows what.

Docking early in Pakbeng, I quickly asked a girl with bleach blond hair if she wanted to find a room with me.  She seemed just as relieved as me to split the cost, so we agreed to scout out the best arrangement together.  The restaurant and guesthouse touts were doing their predictable thang and we noticed the people from my group throwing their stuff into a pick-up truck, bound for the prearranged guesthouse.  The driver pulled us aside and said he'd give us a room for 200 Baht.  Already, I'm glad I didn't fall for the scam at the border.  Then he corrected me that it wasn't 200 per person but for the room itself.  We would split it at 100 Baht each.  Then I was really glad I didn't fall for long-time friend's "special deal."

We enjoyed a first Laotian dinner with the recommended dish that I can't remember the name of now (it had buffalo in it) and to my immensely addicted delight, they provided sticky rice with mango for dessert.  Back onto the boat tomorrow, but we'll finish out in Luang Prabang, a destination worth waiting for.